Showing posts with label day dream diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label day dream diary. Show all posts

#047 Four years later...

05Jul2017

It has 4 years since my last post. Took me quite some time to recover the account and access to this blog.

There are a couple of changes since my last post. I completed my degree with 1st class honour, started my PhD studies in Cryptography, travelled out of Asia, attended and gave presentations at international conferences, proposed to my love, got new HDB flat with my love, secured a job, went for a 2 month internship in Japan, got married, moved to our new house, went honeymoon. Besides these, nothing much had changed. I'm still me.

Btw, 47 is a prime number.

~milkteaisthebest~

#046 My uni first class...

Disclaimer: The following is talking about my experience in my uni life, there may be some content that will cause discomfort to the readers that are very sensitive to uni results. Read at your own risk...


I shall start from the very beginning, when I first started my uni life.
Back then, I didn’t really have a clear goal in mind. I was still pondering what can someone who studies maths can do in the future. During my first semester exam period, my mom got me a small stalk of pomegranate leaves, saying that it will give me luck. I didn’t say much and just keep it in my bag.

My first semester result was surprising good. And I gave credit to the same G2 pens that I used since A-level, or even O-level. During sem2, I got perfect score. That was when my ambitious began to grow; I was even hoping to get into the Dean's list. But sadly, it was still not good enough. But since then, I decided to set my target for 1st class.

And before I realise, I started to become rather superstitious. For every exam, I must bring the same 2 G2 pen and also the pomegranate leaves that my mom gave it to me. After Yr2 Sem1, I decided to set a target my for uni study - all maths mods get A- or above. And I started trying to apply for SUSEP, to go local exchange to NUS. The main purpose was to "S/U" the academic writing module, as I had no confident of getting an A- for an English writing module. But I didn’t get the slot, neither did mD.

My ambitious grew even larger during Yr2 Sem2. There was once Prof C quoted a question that I posted on the RA1 forum, saying that it is an interesting question and that he once thought about it too when he was an undergrad, and M jokingly called me Prof Sim. That was when I asked myself, why not? Prof Sim does sound nice. And I began to set my target at PhD.

Fortunately, mJ was in my academic writing group, and our group assignment was quite well done because of her help with the language. And I managed to get A- for my academic writing. Besides academic writing, another module that gave me a real headache was Abstract Algebra I. I almost wanted to S/U that module (because it is under UE), not to take the risk of getting below A-. But in the end I had decided not to S/U any maths mod. With the encouragement from the visiting Prof teaching that mod, I managed to score very well for that mod.

During yr3, I began to set my target as at least A- for all my modules. And I started trying modules that are more self-study rather than taught systematically. Like Undergrad research with Prof C, Independent Study with Prof Wgh. And subsequently URECA with Prof Whj. And during the Independent Study, according to Prof Wgh, having 4.8+ should be good enough to apply for Nanyang president's graduate scholarship. And thus, my target moved a step higher once again. Finally, my application for SUSEP was successful on the 3rd attempt.

Yr3 Sem2, the sem that just past, although in the end I get my first B+, it is the computing mod taken in NUS. So my degree audit is still safe.
(It is getting late 11:54pm and I’m getting lazy to type.)

To summarise, it seems that for every semester, that is at least a module that I am very worried about and will keep telling my dear how worried I was.
Yr1sem1 – Linear Algebra I, got my first maths test fail, 45/100 for midterm. A-
Yr1sem2 – Accounting, but my full mark midterm stopped me from S/U it, which I made the right choice. A
Yr2sem1 – Probability and intro to Stats, never really liked stats, maybe due to JC, it caused me my first in maths in that cohort. A-
Yr2sem2 – Abstract Algebra I, the first module that I went to library to photocopy almost the entire book for revision, hard work does help. A+
Yr3sem1 – Complex Analysis, very different teaching style. Didn’t get a very clear picture of what is needed to know. A-
Yr3sem2 – Coding Theory, no notes, everything copy from board, messy, confused. A-

Final sem… All the best!


~milkteaisthebest~

#045 Do you believe in the Almighty Bell Curve God?

11/06/2013


 "You shall not pass!"
Gandalf in J. R. R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring

I wonder how many people are familiar with this phrase. To me, it is the classic phrase in the first of the Lord of the Ring trilogy. To some people, it is a CURSE.

There are several parody on the Internet relating this phrase with examination (I wonder who started it). Nevertheless, I do find it interesting that it can be used as a pun for exams.

For those that are less worried about just getting a pass, there is another thing that they (especially the undergrads) fear - The Bell Curve God! (BCG)

He (assuming is male) is The One that most undergrads worship and feared. They may joke about him, not believing in him, but when the exam is around the corner, it is always safer to be superstitious and pray that he will give us a lending hand to get a better grade.

Do I believe in him? I shall put this question aside for now and talk about me thoughts about grades and BCG first.

Yes, I still have one more semester before I graduate and I would most likely be taking Supervised independent Study II, together with my FYP with DSO. So perhaps it is too early to comment about the BCG, in case there really exists karma and offending BCG during my final semester isn't a good way to end my Uni study life.

But no worry! I do not have any module left that requires examination, nor is bell-curve going to affect the remaining 2 modules that I will be taking in the final semester.
(While I was writing about my uni study life, I realised it is long enough to be a new post by itself. So story about my uni life will be in the next post.)

Well... So now back to answering this sensitive question.

Oh... look at the time, time to sleep le. I shall answer it another time ba...



~milkteaisthebest~

#044 Getting Permanent Head Damage?

6 Nov 2012

My year3 sem1 is coming to an end, having exams in a few weeks’ time (23 Nov – 6 Dec). After this semester, I am left with one semester to clear my remaining modules and another focusing only on my FYP. Then… I will graduate!

About 7 years ago, during my sec4 time, I have to make a decision – to go JC or Poly. During that time, my understanding was going JC has a higher chance to enter Uni, which sounds like “Wa… 大学生xia…” But the drawback was that it is a wooden plank between 2 buildings, there is no room for failure. Others often say – “If you complete your JC but didn’t get into a Uni, the A-level cert itself is equivalent to an O-level cert, whereas with a Poly degree, you can find a better job.”

I had forgotten what the reason is, I chose JC. 2 years later, I got my A-level cert. As mentioned earlier, there is nothing much you can do with an A-level cert. So it is another decision making time, what course should I take in NTU? (There is a, rather silly, reason behind me choosing NTU. Maybe I will mention it in the future) Ultimately, I got in to Mathematical Sciences.

After 2 years of National Service, I enrolled into NTU. Another 2 years have passed since then, now I am going to graduate soon. Once again, I have another decision to make; this would probably be the last yet most important decision for my academic study. Should I continue to future study?

Currently I can think of 3 choices –
1.       Get a decent job after I graduate and lead a peaceful life with her, maybe apply for a local part-time PhD study at a later time.
2.       Apply for local PhD study.
3.       Apply for overseas PhD study.

From what I heard so far, it seems to have a better chance in finding a job in local Uni with a foreign PhD. But this means that I have to be away from Singapore for probably 4 years, what about her? Can she come along with me? How about my family? Friends? Etc. There are just too many things that I couldn’t bear leaving.

Next year, during year3 sem2, that will be the time for me to make decisions – What is the field that I am going to work as my FYP, if I am going to continue PhD right after I graduate, if so, local or overseas. I don’t have an answer right now, I hope that I would be able to make a firm one soon, and have no regrets about it.

~milkteaisthebest~

#042 Lucky 7

Had a trip to Genting from 10June2012 to 13June2012. The last time I went was Jan 2010, but that was just 1 night and didn't really look around the places.

Several '7's appeared in this trip:
Tour agent is 707
The tour bus (vehicle plate) to Genting is 7707
First World Hotel level 7
Hotel room 7770
Stayed for 4days 3nights (sum up to be 7)
The tour bus back to Singapore is 3707 (the 3 spoiled the pattern)

Nothing much had changed, except a lot of smokers around, even in air-conditional places, e.g. Hotel Lobby, First World Plaza, etc...

Tried something new which is the Sky Diving, too bad my cousin didn't get the chance to try it.

Either the price there increases or the product shrinks, everything there is about the same price as Singapore (after converting back to Sing Dollar). Not cheap to go oversea, not even Genting.

Went to see the Casino for the first time, saw a lot of poor souls donating their money to Banker. I guess i will never understand that thrill of losing money willingly. I still believe that not losing money is already winning.

Although there are sayings like "no pain, no gain", "putting your money in the bank will only end up losing money due to inflation", I would rather slowly lose my money bit by bit to inflation then putting a risk to lose more. Or at least that is what I feel now, maybe in the future I will do some "investment"? Who knows.

Overall the trip was fun, cool weather as compared to Singapore (I'm already sweating like melting ice while typing this blog). Better get a shower soon...


~milkteaisthebest~

#041 Milk tea overdose

Very often when my friends and I went for supper, some may worry about drinking milk tea will keep them awake and unable to sleep. Is that so? I wonder, it doesn't seems to affect me.

I love milk tea, I think most of my friends know about it. But what they didn't know was before I drink milk tea almost everyday, I drank coke almost everyday.

When I was still in secondary school, whenever I had dinner at home, I will have a can of coke together with my dinner. I have no idea how I started this habit. In the kitchen there is always a carton (24 cans) of coke. Whenever it's finished, I will follow my parents to NTUC fairprice and buy another carton.

Until one day, mom felt that I had been drinking too much coke, and started nagging me about I shouldn't drink so much coke. Slowly, I cut down on the consumption of coke. It seems rather a successfully attempt to cut down on drinking sweet drinks. But before I noticed, I had replaced coke with milk tea.

Drinking milk tea does make me alert, keep my brain thinking, especially during yr2 sem2 of my uni life, 4 days of 8.30 lesson. It's killing me... So very often I will have a cup of milk tea in the morning before lesson. And almost before every quizzes, tests or exams, I will also have milk tea.

Even when I will studying for exam, I often go to Hans or MOS Burger, drinking milk tea is a must. When I don't drink milk tea on the day of revision, I often could not focus or have a headache. Then was until recently, about a month ago, I began to think if I am over relying on milk tea?

So after exam, I try not to drink milk tea everyday, and guess what? Now instead of a cup of milk tea beside this laptop I'm using, it is a Kit Kat wrapper. Well... I guess I do have sweet tooth.


~milkteaisthebest~

#040 It has been awhile...

It has almost been a year since i lasted blogged (7/21/11). i was reading my own blog, because i have long forgotten what i had written, and noticed that [#035 Hoilday] was written about a year ago when i just finished my first year of uni. Just a blink of an eye, i had just finished my second year of uni.

How do i feel now as compared to when i just finished my first year of uni? Well, i feel that i have a clearer (but still not very clear) goal as compared to last year. During last year holiday, i slacked for about 1 month, and went to work at Ace-learning, got my very first working testimonial, so cool... haha..., stopped working about 2 weeks before school starts to further relax myself. When there is too much time to relax, you will get bored...

Until one fine night, 3/8/11, as usual i was checking for any updates on the comic strips online, which includes PokemonX, Super effective, VG cats, Awkward Zombies... Then an idea strikes me - why dont i make my own comic strips? Since others can express themselves or to share their creativity with the public, why couldn't i do that?

And so, my very own and very first comic strip - [World of Prinnies] was born. I chose prinny as my comic was because i was playing the psp prinny game around that time, and i feel that the prinnies are kinda cute in its own way, and i was able to find their sprite from 'spriters resource'.

Seems like this title doesn't really suit the content which i'm talking about. nevermind, i shall end here and post somemore new post (hopefully in near future).

Anyway, it has been awhile...


~milkteaisthebest~

#035 Holiday!

finally exams are over...

Now i'm having a mixed feeling... This holiday is what i have been waiting for and looking forward. However, finally i have my holiday, now what?

Should i just rot for the whole 2-3 months? Go oversea? Find part-time job? Or what should i do?

These may sound ironic but its true: When we are studying, how we wish that we can have some holiday. When we are having holiday, how we wish we have money to spend, hence finding a job. But when we are working full-time, how we wish we are still studying.

My first year of uni is finally over, but this cycle and have to repeat for another 3 times. I really donno should i be happy about it, worried about it or sad about it. I'm happy because i can do what like, studying mathematics. But worried whenever there are test or exam, i believe that no one likes the feeling of stressed and pressurised during the exam period. But again, if we are not studying and taking exam, that means we have to be working. Then we will realise how fortunate we are when we are studying and are away from office politics and other stuff.

Now what i really need to do is to think about which major in maths should i take - pure maths, applied maths, or statistics? And what kind of jobs i can do in the future.

How i wish that i could find a job that i like doing and have a decent salary. I guess alot of people hope for that too.

last but not least,

*pray to God of Bell Curve*

May I be on your left....



~milkteaisthebest~

#034 Empty post

Didnt really have much free time and inspiration on posting recently. Busy with mid-term exams, assignment on writing resume, preparing notes for maths presentation and revising.

Finally most of it are done, now left with coming friday's mid-term, 25% of total result! must score well for it.

At first just wanted to update my blog by adding an empty post, then it reminds me about what i had learnt about "empty set".

Empty set is also consider as a set. For example, how many ways to arrange zero distinct chairs in a row? If one recalls what we had learnt in secondary (or JC, i cant remember), the total number of ways is 0! = 1, why zero factorial (0!) is one? because one way of arranging zero distinct (implies that the order matters) chairs is to do nutting.

So we can see it as the one and only way to arrange zero distinct chairs is to do nutting. Therefore by convention, 0! = 1. Dont believe me go use you calculator and see what you get for 0!.

In short, one way of writing a post is to not to write anything,which is an empty post! Think I'm too carried away, writing crap on this post. Actually this post is meaningless, it is just an "empty" post. (in term of content)

~milkteaisthebest~

#026 XXVI twenty-six 二十六

This blog will be a special blog, because its number 26! Then what's so great about the number 26? Well, from what i can find...

In mathematics term, 26 is the only single number that is between a square number and a cube number, which are 5^2=25 and 3^3=27.
In science, 26 is the atomic number of iron.

Erm... by looking at this, 26 dont really seem special at all. To others, 26 may just be a whole number between 25 and 27, but it is special to me.

To those that dont understand what the hell i'm talking about, just ignore this blog.

To those that seems to understand but not meant for you, also ignore this blog.

To the one who understand why is 26 important to us,
in iew ow. =P

~milkteaisthebest~

#025 More Maths!

Have not write any blog for quite sometime, spending most of the time going out, then when I'm at home, feel abit lazy to blog...

Recently i watched 2 consecutive Saturday midnight movie - season of the witch, 新少林寺. Both not bad, still watchable.

Tml is the start of sem2, 12.5% of uni life complete, still got a long way to go.
I still find that uni stuff are still quite confusing, missed my core registration period, got the elective i wanted but not the timing the i put on waitlist. Now have to plan how and what to add and drop during the add/drop period. So ma fan.... but that's life.

Still feels that i have not played enough.... and still don't have the mood to study. But it's okay, because most of my modules are maths. It really makes a different between
1)what you have to study - vs -
2)what you want to study, and
3)what you can study - vs -
4)what you avoiding to study.

Best situation is of course the combination of 2 and 3.

Worst case is having the combination of 1 and 4, this will really get you to nowhere and you must really do something about it fast.

Its really ironic that some people are the combination of 2 and 4, you got what you want to study, but yet avoiding or putting aside until the very last min to study. Good grades do not come so easily.

Having case 3 may be inborn, but if "talent" really isn't on your side, hardwork would make the different. I admin that when people say "1% talent and 99% hardwork", i will rebut that "it's the 1% that matters". But truthfully speaking, who can always get 100%? So if you are god damn sure and confident telling yourself that you tried your best, you did 99%, that's enough.
So what I'm trying to say is if you really tried your best, you wont have regrets no matter what is the outcome.

Currently i still can do the maths, maybe someday i will reach the level whereby my so-called talent unable to catch up anymore. I know that so long i try my best in doing what i like and what i want to study, i will make it, even if i don't, i have no regrets choosing this path.

All live Mathematics!

~milkteaisthebest~

#022 End of driving test-phobia

Finally today, 10 Jan 2011, i will be writing a blog about my driving test experience. Take note, its not driving experience but driving TEST experience. Why do i say that? You will know soon. First i would like to say that, before today, i don't dare to write this blog, because i cant put an ending to this blog, and I'm not confident to say when will this come to an end.

My first time getting to know driving is 16 Jul 2009, i was still serving National Service and my vocation requires me to be equipped with driving skill. So that day was the first day i started my army driving course. Everything seems fine, until

1) 7 Aug 2009, i fail my first driving test. I was too nervous, and before me there were incidents of others not aware of what is "about turn", which after that we were told that, its just U-turn. So when the tester told me to make a right turn to a dead end, i know he is going to ask me to make a "about turn".

I was so engrossed in thinking the detail of what to do later when he stopped the vehicle for me. A vehicle from the main road on my left is turning right while I continued turing right also. "Required testing officer's help to abort an accident" major fault, immediate failure.



2) 13 Aug 2009, the test was in the morning, around 9.15am. Normal bus lane time is 7.30 to 9.30am, other drivers should not drive on this bus lane during that time. The tester took me to a route with normal bus lane, and my slightly faster watch shows 9.30am. Really a bad time on the wrong road. So to play save, i drove on the second left most lane.

Until some part along the road he wants me to make a left turn, i look at the road situation, i panicked. I'm in a traffic jam and i have to change 2 lanes to the left in order to enter the left side road. But the vehicles on the left lane don't give me the chance, and soon i going to miss the turn. Not knowing what to do, i tried my luck to squeeze in where there is a gap. The tester pushed my steering wheel right, after that he slowly guide me changing to the left lane and successfully made the left turn. "Failed to give way traffic from left", major fault, immediate failure. But i have to admit that i was too rush on changing lane.



3) 18 Aug 2009, the graduation day, and my birthday, if i pass, i will be able to leave there 1 or 2 days later after the orientation driving. In the morning, at the roundabout, some of them encountered tyres on the left lane. Some bypassed from the right lane but were scolded by the testers, saying "why not just drive over it?". In the afternoon, my turn, and i did saw the tyres they mentioned. There are 3 tyres and only 2 small gaps in between them, so i started have doubt to really able to drive over them. But still, not much time to think, i try to drive through at a slow speed. Bang! Tyre hit tyre, engine stalled. "Hit fixed object", major fault, immediate failure.


The tester was scolding me upside-down, and i tried to explain that i heard it from the morning session driving test. After some "investigation", morning do have tyre, 1 tyre. That's why tester would say they could drive over it. When i tried to explain more, tester said "So morning your friend drive through a road and say its clear, afternoon you driving through and saw a man on the road, you go over him ah? Cause your friend say its clear. ACCESS THE ROAD YOURSELF, not through what your friend said."


My close friend, Ken passed his test on that day, I was all alone now, almost going to break down...


4) 20 Aug 2009, I total lost my confident, especially when the tester was the one known to be the very strict and barley passes anyone. Just in the circuit i forgot to down gear back to 1 when i stopped my vehicle at gear 2. "Failed to move off from stationary position in 1st gear", major fault, immediate failure.




5) 25 Aug 2009, it was the same tester that access me on my second test. He was supposed to be the more lenient tester, i was praying hard that i can pass my driving by him. On the road, stupid me followed the front vehicle through a yellow box, but it stops not far after it passes the yellow box. I ended up stopped with my back wheels in the yellow box.

That itself is enough to fail me for "Failed to obey mandatory traffic sign/ signal rule", but i think he did try to close one eye. However, when I'm approaching the last left turn back to camp, i was so excited that i should pass this time and i failed to notice that there is bicycle riding cross the green man light. The test quickly bended down and wanted to pull the hand brake for me, which alerted me of the bicycle and hence i slammed the brake to avoid collision.

When we got back, i know i had failed, i tried beg him to let me pass. But he explained that without his bending down action, i may just crash onto the bicycle, this shows that i have not enough sense of alertness to the surrounding, causing danger to other road users. But to make the remark "nicer", he only wrote that i stopped in yellow box, major fault, immediate failure.



By now the next batch of trainees had already arrived for quite sometime and are already practicing driving. There is only left me and another guy. I told myself that if i fail the next test again, i would ask my PC to put me out of this driving course. Its really driving me crazy.

Because ever since they started driving, my instructor is unable to train me during the day. So i have to arrive at the driving centre by 6 plus 7am, as usual. And just sit down at the training shed doing nothing the whole day until 4-5pm, then my instructor is free to bring my for practice. Sometime there will be some other instructor who is happen to be free in the day, he will also bring me out for practices.

I feel like I'm going to turn mad anytime soon, I'm sometime even wonder will i ORD from here instead of going back to my unit? The batch before me also has 1 person who unable to graduate, but he was left all alone by himself. Rumor said that he got a doctor proof that he has depression and was out of course. Should i do the same?

My sweet told me try not to think about driving while waiting in the training shed, but i cant. what i see are cars driving past, what i hear are sound of the engine of the cars, what i smell are the gases emitted by the cars. I cant escape from it, not even a second.

Reach home by 9pm plus, have to wake by 5.30am. Every night i slept with fear, not wanting to wake up to face the horror.


6)30 Aug 2009, i was like a zombie. Just a pile of soulless flesh walking around and driving around. I donno what am i doing anymore, long forgotten when was the last time i truly smile and laugh with joy.

On the road, a cross junction with 2 lane turning right, I'm making a U-turn. Sometime after green like, there seems to be no on coming traffic, the vehicles on my left started making right turn. Then i started thinking, should i make the U-turn now or wait for green arrow? If i wait, the vehicle behind me horns me, i will fail for causing obstruction to traffic.

So i decided to make the turn along with the vehicles on my left, but since I'm making a U-turn, I'm slower then them, and by the time they drove off, on the oncoming lane there are vehicles approaching, the tester stopped the vehicle for me just like the 1st test, "Required testing officer's help to abort an accident" major fault, immediate failure.

I tried to request out of course from the instructors but what i received were scoldings. I tried to contact my PC, but he was too busy with the Army Open House 09 and i couldn't even reach him. So my hope of getting out of this misery shattered.

7) 2 Sep 2009, the instructors quickly pushed me to get prepared for the 7th test. I heard that the highest record was taking and passed on the 7th test, i was wondering will i be the one to broke the 7 tests record.

Luckily, i pass. I FINALLY PASSED! After more than 1 and a half months of nightmare i finally passed my driving test. I really need to thank everyone who refuse to let me give up (out of course), and those who didn't give up hope on me, and those who encouraged me to hang on till the very end. I finally made it!

But happiness doesn't last forever, the next question soon came out "am i taking civilian license too?" I try not to think about it, leave it till i ORD then see how...

Finally ORD on 9 Feb 2010, on this very same day i went to BBDC to enrol as a private candidates. I did really took my own sweet time taking the theory tests. After a year i got my army driving license, now is time for my diving practical test again...

8) 13 Sep 2010, I just started my uni for nearly 2weeks. I really hope that i can clear this so i can focus on my studies. Everything went smoothly, without any major fault. So i thought I'm going to pass this test easily.

However, the tester soon pointed out a lot of mistake that i made, failed to check blind spot, veer off course, failed to regulate speed according to the traffic etc. And i failed due to 20+ demerit points. My heart sinks, memories of the army driving test experience started flowing back to my mind.


9) 27 Oct 2010, i cant fail this test, after this i have start preparing for my final exams, i have to more time to go for another test. I keep telling myself that i cant fail this time, i can't fail this time, i cant fail this time.

I even asked my driving instructor how to reduce the stress, he gave me a sweet and said "eat sweet lo". While waiting for the test, i ate the sweet, hoping that it would be a blessing for me and pass the test.

However, in the circuit, the clutch pedal starts to jeer when I'm trying to hold half clutch. I even strike kerb when reversing for directional change, did a couple of time for both vertical and parallel parking, stall engine, all kind of mistake. I tried to explain to the tester that there is some problem with the clutch that i just cant hold it at half clutch position. The tester calmly said to me, "it is your leg that is trembling."

I requested from him for a minute to calm myself down, then i started to redo the parallel parking, amazingly i parked in perfectly without any jerking of clutch or anything, just like the morning practice. After that on the road everything also went smoothly. But the mistake i made in the circuit was too sever. 30+ demerit points.


And so the driving was put aside while i focus on my exam, don't want talk about and think about driving. It brings back nothing but fear to me.

After exam, i login to the BBDC website once more and take up the challenge again.

10) 10 Jan 2011, my 10th driving test, and 3rd civilian driving practical test. If i fail this, i probably have to put it on hold until may, after my sem 2 final exams. During the test, similar thing from the previous test occurred. I sensed that I'm losing control of my left foot again, i quickly press my heel on the floor of the car and carry on the test.

Still, i hit the kerb when reversing into the parallel parking. The tester was rather friendly and try to calm me down, telling me to relax and saying that i can drive, all i need is to prove it to him.

On the road, i really tried my very best to check for safety before changing lane, making turns, i even encounter an obstacle on my lane and have to bypass it safety. When we came back, i went to the waiting room while the tester go to print the result.

That few minutes are really torturous to me, i really pray that i could pass. But hitting kerb is 10 demerits and 20 points is enough to fail the test.

When the tester review my performance on the road, he said "why you so nervous? Hit the kerb is 10 points you know, if you didn't hit the kerb...". He suddenly stopped for a few second, and so is my heart.

"you would have passed with flying colours, but you still pass la." 18 demerit points, i finally pass my last and final driving test. I finally passed my driving, 10 driving test in total, its not a record that anyone would want to break.

Finally i can sleep peacefully without thinking of how am i going to pass my driving test. I really must thanks everyone for encouraging me to press on, not to give up. There is too many people that i want to thank so i will not name one by one. My family, my love, my friends and my driving instructors, without you all, i will not make it this far.

Thank you.


If you ever feel like giving up on something, or think that you cant do it, think again.
My 10 driving tests taught me that nothing is impossible, unless you give up.
If you don't give up, failure will.

~milkteaisthebest~

#018 完美结局

最近闲着没事,就从看了一部较新的哆啦A梦的电影。内容大纲是-大雄厌倦了现实生活,向哆啦A梦借用了《如果电话亭》,把地球从科学的世界变成了魔法世界。而原本在现实世界外太空出现的不明行星,变成了有魔法的魔王所统治的恶魔星,并企图侵略地球。于是大雄一伙人便展开了保卫地球和消灭恶魔星的魔王的旅程。

而其结果,当然是打败了魔王,拯救了地球。再次为哆啦A梦和大雄的冒险画下完美的据点,看着故事的尾声,然我不由得在想,在现实生活(不是指大雄的现实生活)中,我们真的能有完美的结局吗?

例如在童话故事里,常常看到王子与公主从此过着幸福快乐的日子。但是现实生活呢?我们从出生懂事以来,就得开始读书,读了十几年的书后,拿了张叫文凭的纸,希望能找份高薪、轻松、甚至喜欢的工作。与此同时,又想找个能厮守终生的伴侣,一起过着幸福的日子。

但是事情往往并非如此,读书的压力和辛苦暂且不说,得到一份理想的工作还有找个心仪的伴侣是靠努力还是靠运气暂且也不说。就算有工作了,有伴侣,就幸福圆满了吗?就可以为二、三十年(甚至更长)的努力松一口气,对自己说声:“我办到了,这是我的完美结局!”吗?

不能。先前的努力纯粹是为了下一代,而不是自己的完美结局。这么说呢?成家立业后,便是生儿育女,你多年的努力和赚来的钱只不过是为了让孩子丰衣足食,有钱让他们念书。别说那些百万富翁,若是一般的家庭,家庭压力就从此诞生的。

为了糊口,父母要拼命赚钱,所谓手停口停,不工作就没饭吃。而工作也未必是你不犯错就永远维持现状,经济不景气、减薪、裁员等等事从不轻饶一般百姓。试想想,三十多年的努力换来了什么?为了一日三餐苦干、为了睡觉有瓦遮顶卖命、为了孩子的前途担忧,要应付工作不顺心和压力、管教好自己的孩子别让他误入歧途等等。

等到五、六十,甚至七十多岁时,假设孩子孝顺,你才可以松一口气。终于可以享受人生了,过着朝思暮想的幸福日子。可是!岁月不饶人,生老病死的“病”开始纠缠我们了,我们还有多少岁月剩呢?

以上还有很多可能发生的问题,如夫妻不和、意外等等我都跳过不说了。已经足以看得出“完美结局”是不可能发生的了。所以人们才把心中未了、无法达成的美好结局寄托在故事之中,让后辈看了这些童话故事有说启发,为自己的未来努力,希望他们能完成自己无法完成的心愿-完美结局。

这样的人生可悲吗?可悲,但可悲的不是在人生,而是自己狭隘、悲观的心态。读者们你们大概在想“怎么我说了这么多人生负面的事,却有说是自己悲观呢?”

我写了十几年的华文,其中最喜欢、觉得最有意义、深度的四个字就是“知足常乐”。有些人会觉得我在说大话,但这四个字的确说得容易,做得难。一个人如何看待事情的利与弊是决定一切的重点,一个装了半杯茶的茶杯,有的会看成是少了一半,有的会看成是还差一半就满了。也许英文比较容易说-it can be seen as half-empty or half-filled.

在我描述的总多不幸和负面的事中,如果换个角度来看-吃得饱、睡得好,就满足了,当苦恼是有知心的另一半和你分担,所谓患难与共,这不是件庆幸的事吗?

总结来说,完美结局是看你如何看待自己的人生,如果看得开一点,乐观一点,其实你已经身在童话故事的结局中了。

~milkteaisthebest~

#017 My Life, My Game

I like playing games, not those bonding, ice-breaking, that kind, but those that can seat down with a couple of close friends, spend a couple of hours playing together. Before i start buying games, i only have chinese chess with me, which seldom have people playing with me and it is limited to 2 players. Hence i started buying games.

i also cant recall when was it, but one day i just decided to buy a game, can be card or board game from settler's cafe, a board game cafe near my house. i think the first game i bought was Citadels (not Citadel, its an entire different game). Really quite enjoy it, playing with friends of course. Not long later i bought Munchkin (version 1), and also i enjoyed playing with my friends. But there is once at we played the game at one of my friend's house, i think we spent about 3 hours playing it, that stupid friendship potion, but still i really enjoyed it.

After sometime, i went to buy Saboteur. It is then i realised it is quite fun to play games that involved cheating and bluffing. But at the same time i notice that its isn't cheap to buy this games. Although it is cheaper than going those board game cafes, but a simple card game is like 30+, for those with tokens or figurines or models will be 50+. And i cant buy those big board games, not convenient to bring around and definitely not cheap.

One day, just a random day going out with friends, i saw a new card game 三国杀, as a fan of Three Kingdoms, i surely won't miss this chance to buy that game. The drawings are amazing, when one likes something, everything about it will be will catch the lover's attention, chinese call it 爱屋及乌. I guess i that is what happened to me.

Soon, i start thinking, why will i keep spending money to buy games? Of course, I'm not saying those games i bought don't worth the money. I must say I'm impressed by the people who thought of the games. And if part of the money i spend on their games goes to them, i think they deserve it.

Anyway, so i started thinking that why not I try to make some games too? Games are created by human, so can i create something. Hence i start my "project", the first one that i started was rather too complex and difficult to accomplish, so it was put aside.

During the time around my birthday, one of my oldest friend bought me the game 风声, the second chinese based card game, after 三国杀. Playing consecutively 3 bluffing and cheating games (Saboteur, 三国杀, 风声), i began to feel tired, not that I'm bored of those games. But tired of cheating and bluffing every time.

During one fine day, an idea on creating stuck me. So i decided to focus on trying to make that game. After several days of drawing, scanning into computer, colouring and print it out. I finally made the game, it may not be as nice as those games that are sold outside, but i must say i did my best to make it. I'm quite glad that the result is so nice that some of my friends doubt that it was drawn and made by me.

After trying out the game once, they kindly start giving me feedback, though i may be disheartened by some of the things they say, but generally they meant well. And i really appreciate their feedback.

Back home, i started thinking, so should i modify the game? Or just let it be? Now I'm having my 1st sem break, surely i want to make full use of the time, so making the game will take up quite alot of my holiday and it may just turn out that no one will want to play it.

After discussing with my love, i decided to just go on modifying the game. Who knows, maybe one day i can sell it for profit. Even if i cant sell it, no one plays it, and the game was throw in one corner. I know that someday, when i take it out and look at it. I will know deep inside myself that if i want to do something, i can make it happen. Even if none of my friends appreciates it, i am proud of my own work and i will strife to do better.

Of course, that is the last resort. I do hope that people, or at least my friends will like this game - Fish.

~milkteaisthebest~

#015 End of 1st sem

Phew... finally all the exams are over, not quite used to uni exam. i did what i could, wrote what i can during the 2 hours. Now just wait patiently for the results in Jan 2011.

Seriously its a hug leap from JC maths and uni maths. Either is because i overestimated myself or 2 years of army cause me out of the "mathematics" league, or both. In the past the exam questions are like - do this this this, show blah blah blah, find, determine... they are sort of "direct" question, you need to identify which topic is it related to what you had study, and the method you had learn and apply. What was hard are some questions that have small traps or require small trick to solve it.

But how? Prove blah blah blah, prove BY DEFINITION, prove the statement is true or otherwise show a counter example... It had changed from "how fast and accurate can you calculate" to "how well you know your maths and how to you write and prove your point". Which i'm still not used to it. hopefully i can get hold of it soon, real soon.

Well, 1st sem ended, barely know any friends, not really a good sign. Hope next sem will be better, but please dont come so soon. Let me enjoy more. :)

~milkteaisthebest~

#011 Anime and Comics

last update 16/12/2010. Anime and Comics that i had watched and read....
Cant remember all of it, just listing down what i cant remember... Will add on when i remember more of it.

  • Shakugan no Shana (灼眼のシャナ Burning-Eyed Shana)
  • Seto no Hanayome (瀬戸の花嫁 The Inland Sea Bride)
  • Hellsing
  • Hellsing OVA (and manga)
  • Azumanga Daioh
  • Monster
  • Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion
  • Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R2
  • D.gray-man
  • Infinite Ryvius
  • Shaman King
  • Hell Girl
  • Desert Punk
  • Full Metal Alchemist
  • Skip Beat
  • Prince of Tennis
  • Scrapped Princess
  • Casshern Sins
  • Basilisk

  • 20th Century Boys (manga)
  • 21th Century Boys (manga)
  • Liar Game (manga)
  • Pluto (manga)
  • Death Note (manga)
  • Claymore (manga)
  • Fairy Tail


~milkteaisthebest~

#009 Mistakes

Seems like i often have typo or mistakes in my blog, (even the age i also got it wrongly), but thanks fish for pointing it out for me.

这次就用华文写博客吧,希望这次错别字会比较少。
上大学已经有三个月了,而我在这段日子里发现了一点。

人一生当中常常会犯错,这是不可避免的事,没有人能活了一生而从未犯过错。当然,犯错后自我检讨、认错、改正、负责、并不重蹈覆辙,才是我们该做的。

突然想到有一段绕口令,是我个人觉得蛮有趣:
说了又不听,听了又不懂,
懂了又不做,做了又做错,
错了又不认,认了又不改,
该了又不服,不复有不说。

但以上所说的和我要谈的错,并没有多大关系。我想说的是:我要为我的自大认错、负责。
一开始时,我一直认为自己可以靠自己一人的力量,顺利地读完这四年大学。而且交不交朋友并不重要,我也不需要。看来我错了。

所谓“远亲不如近邻”、“远水救不了近火”,这两句话我到现在才真正体会到这话的意思。之前,我并没有去多想:为什么我越来越希望每课时就出去,或回家。为什么我情愿星期一早上六点多醒来上学,而不要星期天晚上回来。

原来是因为-我没有朋友。我不再像当初一样,认为在宿舍里没人烦我,生活会清净。我需要朋友,我需要有人和我谈话、了解我在读什么、了解我的困扰、了解我的烦恼、和我分享喜怒哀乐,我需要知音。

并不是说我没有朋友,我有不少好友、知音,还有个爱人。但是他们不再大学宿舍里,也因此我越来越想多出去,和他们一起出门,见见面。这些,是我在大学里没有的。我知错了,我不能一个人生活,我需要朋友。我不能再自我封闭,不主动和陌生人打交道。

所以,希望下个学期,我会交到一些朋友。希望下个学期,我不再寂寞。希望下个学期,会更好。

~milkteaisthebest~

#008 50th Month =^-^=^-^=

Yesterday was 26 Nov 2010,
I still remember 50 months ago that faithful day, in the mac, my life changed. Ever since then my life gets better and better, even today, i'm glad that i meet you...

Life is short, meeting the right one depends on luck. Some may meet later in their lives, some may never meet the right one. But me? I never expected myself to be so lucky, to meet the right one at age 17. (note that i use the word "meet" not "find", chinese has a saying "可遇不可求". )

I dont ask for more, just hope that you dont leave me at all.
Unlike cats, our lives only have one, and i want to be with you like one.
With you, together, forever, and ever.

Wei Ni

~milkteaisthebest~

#007 Journey to the West

Today is 25 Nov 2010,
for this week lessons, MTH 110 and MTH 114 are having e-learning week. So this week was rather free, today only have an hour MTH 112 lecture at 1.30 - 2.30pm. But today i left house at 12.15pm, just nice a few min before lecture starts, lect ends rather on time, i reach home at 3.45pm.

12.15 - 3.45pm is 3.5 hrs! I spent 2.5 hrs on travelling? The phrase "time flies" fits perfectly in this situation. For the first year i'm staying in hall, can wake up at around 7.30am for 8.30 lesson. Even have enough time for a bath and breakfast and walk to South Spine for lesson. If i wanna go for 8.30 lesson from home, i have to leave house by latest 6.15am! Its too time consuming and tiring thing to do.

But on the other hand, its not cheap to stay in hall... They claim to be $160 per month, but from the bill, its $40 per week. Some joker (already got one) already ask me "isn't it the same? 1 month is 4 weeks wat?" <----- yet studying accounting, really joker. I must stress - the only month that is 4 weeks is February, and it occurs only 3 times every 4 years (generally). For the rest of the months, they are 30 or 31 days, equivalent to approximately 4.2857 or 4.4286 (correct to 4 decimal places) weeks! Does this 0.4 weeks plus matters? Of cos! E.g. Take from Sept to Dec (4 months) for example. $160 per month, so i pay $640? WRONG!

30+31+30+31=122days
122/7=17.4285 (4 dec. pl.) weeks
17.4285*$40=$697++
In addition there is wat transfer fee, miscellaneous fee, etc...
Its over $730++.

I'm not complaining about the fee dont tally with wat they claim initially, i know staying in hall do cost money. What i wanna say is i'm in between the choice of money and time.
Money - from my parents, its isn't cheap for them to pay for my uni tuition fee, hall fee, pocket money...
Time - time wasted on travelling, time to spend with family, to spend with fish, to spend with frens (sorry ppl, you are placed after her. =P), etc...

But next year i wont be staying in hall, so its left with how i manage my time and try to find things to do during the travelling time (so it wont be totally wasted). Wonder how will it be like in the future... Okay, enough diarying... Time for other stuff... Oh! Forgot to mention why the title in Journey to the West, cos my school is in the west of Singapore, what else?

Wei Ni

~milkteaisthebest~

#006 New Diary

During army time i started a blog, wrote a couple of super simplified diary tat only i can understand what does it mean. But after awhile i gave up, lazy to write. Now when i read back, i could hardly understand what am i writing myself. All the short forms and acronyms, i cant remember what do they mean.
Diaries are meant for one to read back someday, reminding oneself of his or her past. Ironically, i dont understand my own diary blog.

Now starting my 4 years uni life, maybe should try to start a new blog. This time must write more clearly, so i can recall what happen in the past.

Its interesting to have labels that have same initial letters - Tea Time Talk, Final Fantasy Fan, Day Dream Diary. Wonder what else can i come up with next time. This is quite short compare to my FFF post. Next time then write new longer post.

Wei Ni (not for the one who dont understand)

~milkteaisthebest~